It Began Here


Page Addition: Welcome (10/18/2014)

You can skip straight to the full unfolding of events here: https://thehealingnarcissist.com/2014/10/18/the-true-journey-of-the-healing-narcissist/


Page Addition: Opening Up to the Healing Power of Love (10/15/2014)

If you have come here seeking an answer about how to heal narcissism, the only real answer is love.  Understand the meaning of this love though – it comes in two parts. 

Love for yourself.  This is not the malignant self-love of narcissism.  This is fully embracing every part of your false self, your true self, and your raw self; and emerging as no self.  You must become your own best friend and in that friendship find the love that you always deserved.  A love that cannot be taken away.  A love that you will want to begin extending outward and sharing with the world as soon as you understand the true nature of its warm embrace. 

Love for the world.  This can begin very small.  It can be love for your toothbrush for giving you the gift of clean teeth, or loving this keyboard because it has given me the gift of sharing these words with you.  Within this same framework of loving yourself and loving the objects around you, you can begin to extend this love outward to the people in your life, the people in your world, and those who live beyond the range of your own experience. 

Actually, if you awaken to the truth of love, and fully embrace it – this entire process is instantaneous – and you’ll never see the world the same way again. 


NOTE: THE REST OF THIS PAGE IS OLD NEWS!

I am a narcissist.

When I say this – I do not use the term lightly.  I am talking about full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a serious mental health problem.

If you are reading this, chances are that you or someone you know is a narcissist to.

To those of you who are narcissists (or think you are), maybe you can find something here that speaks to you and aids in your own healing journey.

If you are a ‘non’, then chances are that you’re here to learn more about how your own narc operates and what you can do to help.


Truth Note: I am in no real position to advise ANYONE on ANYTHING about ANY OF THIS.  I am just writing about my own experiences as a way to process and work through them.  However, I most certainly recognize that the narc in me is continuing to grandstand and cry out for attention through my writing.


Both sides of NPD will be addressed here, but joining me requires a word of warning.  My warning is two-fold, 1) this will be an emotional ride, and 2) I am still learning my TRUTH, which means that I still believe my own bullshit more often than not.

Everything here is my TRUTH when I SEE IT!  But a truth today may be pulled apart tomorrow and examined through an entirely different lens, exposing another layer of bullshit and another layer of truth to be dissected yet again.  In other words – this might take some time.

One of my TRUTHS includes a strong desire to be of service to the broader NPD community, because:

  • I COULD HAVE DIED AS THE MISERABLE WRETCH THAT I WAS!!!
  • I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN TRUE PEACE or FREEDOM or JOY!!!
  • NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE OR DIE LIKE THIS!!!
  • HEALING IS POSSIBLE!!!

While I can NEVER make up for the damage that I’ve done to others throughout my lifetime, if I can help even one person deal with this within themselves, or deal with someone else who suffers from this horrible horrible affliction of the soul, then I feel like I’ve at least done some good.

Make absolutely NO mistake!  This journey is INCREDIBLY HARD!  I am literally turning myself inside out and trying to figure out who I am for the very first time since the age of seven!  AFTER 35 YEARS OF PRETENDING!

My narc mind keeps trying to lull me back to sleep so it can take over again – and burn my life (and the lives of those around me) to the ground once more!  However, I’M ABSOLUTELY COMMITTED TO TAKING BACK MY LIFE!!!

My alternative?  To consciously CHOOSE to be the monster!  So, there really isn’t a CHOICE to be made here!

As you’ll see, my journey is still very very new, raw, and visceral – but it is POWERFUL and I want to share it. So here is where I’m at and what I have to offer…  This is the story of my healing journey as a fragile/covert narcissist attempting to recover and restore my authentic self!

P.S. The information contained on this site is based on my own experiences, research, and opinions.  No matter how much ‘authority’ I may try to speak with, EVERYTHING HERE IS JUST MY OPINION…  Nothing more.

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