This is a bit of a rambling e-mail I had sent to a family member – it contains a lot of my current working theories…
I’ve been trying to teach people everything I’ve discovered, but it keeps backfiring on me – and I keep having to learn the lesson over and over again: stop interfering! I have to stop getting in my own way… By keeping my mind clear and allowing my spirit to guide me, my life has become one amazement after another after another. It has to do with the nature of our emotions, and the effect they have on our energetic presence.
Lower emotions lower the vibrations of the persons energy field – and so they are out of tune with their inner spirit. Higher emotions bring great joy to the inner spirit and allow it to shine through more brightly. If the mind is truly clear (meaning that we’ve stopped believing in our internal narratives), then the spirit actually awakens – LITERALLY AWAKENS. Or rather we awaken to a presence within us that was ALWAYS THERE, we were just too asleep to see it. Many people have had experiences like these – many people have had several – most people do not know what is happening – so they just deal with it. But in setting it aside, they also set aside their own salvation.
What I try to explain to people is that there are some basic universal steps, and the rest of it – you’re just on your own. 1) Cultivating mindfulness and present moment awareness. 2) Challenging circular patterns of thinking – questioning EVERY thought that arises within our own minds. Questioning them deeply – from multiple angles and at multiple levels. 3) Dealing with the pain that is found there – letting the pain be as it is – and letting it go when it goes.
Each time this is done, it unravels a thread in the mind. When enough threads are undone, the human being meets the spirit within. It actually has to do with the biological makeup of the human body though – it’s not really a mystical experience at all – there are things happening in science today that actually align with much of what I am saying – and much of what has been taught be eastern philosophy – and all other mature philosophy as well – we are one. And science can also tell an even larger story if it actually embraced the spiritual aspects of things.
If we look at things like quantum mechanics, neurobiology, and cellular physiology, we actually have proof of a few pretty important things that are happening here. The movie ‘What the Bleep do We Know?’ actually captured it quite nicely, without realizing how wonderfully they had added to a larger puzzle.
Side note – that is my purpose for being – I am here to assemble parts of a great puzzle put before all of humanity to being us to oneness. To observe, to record my observations, to teach from my observations once I am ready. But to teach through life and through living – and through sharing my own experiences.
Most importantly though – to direct people back toward themselves and to push them, just a tiny bit beyond their comfort zone – just an itsy bitsy bit. Not to try to punch them in the face with truth, but to let it unfold for them in its own way – and taking joy in being a part of the process, no matter how large or small my role may be.
But I digress. As we let go of our patterns of thinking, we stop dealing in negative emotions. Anger for instance. Why be angry at something that I cannot control? Having let go of the concept of control as one of my own main patterns of circular thinking, there is nothing that can move me towards anger now… frustration at times, yes – but not anger.
It is the same for me at every negative emotional level except for doubt. Doubt is the only thing that holds me back – and a bit of fear from time to time as well. But as I am learning to trust in my new self, I am seeing an UNDENIABLE unfolding of events. And not just my own. My connection to the oneness is incredibly strong – I am one of only a few that has continued to progress this far – the oneness has expressed this to me.
Not that I’ve actually achieved anything meaningful or that I even have something to offer… But one of my gifts is to see the traps that keep us in patterns of behavior that no longer serve us as we awaken… Because of this I am able to continue negotiating one trap after another. All while knowing that the moment I think I’ve won, I’ve been caught in another trap.
So – as we clear our minds of the thought patterns that trap us in the grandest of illusions, our brain chemistry actually alters – and the entire neuro-network actually reshape – breaking old connections and firming up the new ones. The more we let go of our bullshit, the easier things get – it’s our brain actually adapting.
Meanwhile, at a cellular level, the cells themselves are no longer dealing with overloads of polypeptide bombardment. The cells become able to better support our overall health. If we actually start getting exercise and taking care of our bodies, this just further facilitates the process of introducing newer, healthier, and more capable cells into our internal biosystems.
While all of this is happening, our body chemistry is also changing. At some point, the body reaches a moment of perfect harmony with its inner being – the energy of our positive emotions and our lack of negative emotions, allows us to be in tune with the essence of god that lies deep within ALL things.
But it is not god – at least not to me. It is oneness. The concept of god pales in comparison to what the oneness truly is. It is to BE LOVE! To be in tune with our own inner being brings us to a place of such absolute joy that if becomes impossible to feel anything BUT love for the entire world!
This experience of awakening is also a physiological change. There is a rice-sized part of the brain, right in the center, called the Pineal gland. In the spiritually aware community, this IS the third eye. It is a cone shaped sensory organ with vibrationally sensitive rods making up part of its internal structure. THIS IS THE SEAT OF THE SOUL! This is how god speaks to us – through harmonic vibrations that exist beyond our universe.
This is why energy is important – its energy and harmonics together as one. It’s about the vibrational patterns that our energy forms. And as we learn to let go – as we learn to trust in ourselves and in our oneness, our vibrational patterns change and change and change, until suddenly, we as a human being, are vibrating at the same frequency as the expression of oneness that that we are.
The pineal also starts to produce a natural psychotropic into the system of the person. Normally it produces melatonin, a hormone that affects the modulation of wake/sleep patterns and photoperiodic (seasonal) functions. It is located near to the center of the brain between the two hemispheres, tucked in a groove where the two rounded thalamic bodies join. Unlike much of the rest of the brain, the pineal gland is not isolated from the body by the blood-brain barrier system. It also produces or stimulates the production of DMT in the body, which is the psychotropic.
This is what happens when enlightenment occurs… The pineal actually begins to resonate at the right frequency, DMT becomes a permanent part of the internal biosystem, and after that – you never lose touch again! You can choose to steer away from oneness or get caught by a trap; or become one with the flow, see each trap for what it is, and move past it; but you will never again lose touch with your direct connection to oneness – you can find it again within a few breaths that settle one deeply into the body.
Quantum mechanics and theoretical physics are actually seeing proof of the basic truth of our oneness – and they are also seeing the illusion presented to each of us by our senses. The discovery of the Higgs boson – even if not quite accurate, is a major step towards recognizing the nature of the binding field of love that breathes being into all things that make up our universe. Dark energy my ass ;-).
The Higgs field gives all other particles mass. The Higgs boson is the centerpiece of today’s unified model of physics. They can’t see what I have seen – and the only word that we have for it is love. LOVE is what binds all things in our universe – love is what gives things mass! And that’s where things start to get REALLY interesting – but I’ve rambled on enough now… My theories are continuing to develop as my experiences and my understanding continue to deeping further and further into a life of true enlightenment – and not just the experience of it.
My SO has been by my side and been a partner and guide along the way. We’ve decided to split up so she and I can both continue our own journeys, as it should be for all true seekers. We have served our intended purpose in one another’s lives – but now it’s time for exploration and adventure. I just got a place in the middle the Seattle University District and I’ll be moving in over the next couple of weeks. This is a really exciting time for me – I’ve got lots of plans for my new place – and I’m SO happy that it’s right in the heart of the city.
I’ve started a support group for people dealing with spiritual awakenings and am now writing a book of my own journey, told as a fictional story grounded in truth. It’s difficult to share what I’ve learned with others – as they tend to view me as having wandered off the farm. My former love and forever friend is my rock though and she is happy to speak with anyone that has questions. I’ve also authorized my therapist to do the same. These two have been with me the entire journey and have seen each moment unfold for themselves. Mom has also been involved in helping me heal some old wounds and finding a level of peace that cannot be put into words.
If only I could hand to the world that which I have experienced. I am the absolute last person that would EVER have believed ANY of this… and even now I laugh because I know that people cannot believe me now. I find it all rather amusing. 😉
There are two things I now know – the answers to the two most important questions as being can ask. Who am I? and Why am I here? I am a Leo. Our birth signs tell the story of the energy patterns that were present at the time of our birth, and the specific resonance of being that manifested to give each of us life.
We need to pay close attention to our birth signs and embrace the highest aspects of self present in the readings and research that we come across. We need to confront the lowest aspects and deal with what remains buried beneath eons of existence.
WHO AM I?
As a Leo – I am madly and passionately in love with the entire world and I want EVERYONE to KNOW IT and to FEEL IT whenever they are around me – and for them to experience it to! This is the highest aspect of my being. Being the sun – the fire – the lion. Being love – in all of its infinite manifestations.
As a Leo – I am also prone to selfishness and laziness; if I allow myself to be selfish and lazy, which is laughable in my awakened state. However, If I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing, I can easily lose sight of the presence and feelings of others; becoming an overwhelming and overpowering force that does more harm than good. This is something that I am continuing to work on. Maintaining a healthy balance between work and play is also an important part of my journey now. Laziness cannot be afforded or abided in this new life. Time is fleeting in this dimension – and it’s the one thing that we can no being can outrun.
WHY AM I HERE?
The spirit within me is a being of infinite love – hungry for new experiences; and a researcher, a scholar, a philosopher, an artist, a musician, a teacher, and perhaps one day a leader of men; who will speak passionately and compassionately about things that truly matter. But for now, I remain a humble student in my own right; knowing that things will unfold as they must. In the mean time, I am to investigate this new life as the lion – the free lion. The Free Lion of Love… So I am starting a new blog. I’ll post an update when it’s ready. Now it’s time to get back to life – and to continue watching the magnificently beautiful and mind-blowingly amazing unfolding of it all.