These appear to be the two things most people are interested in asking. I will sum them up and respond to them as:
1. I think I have NPD. Please help me.
2. I think so and so has NPD. Please help me help them.
I think I have NPD. Please help me.
There are no real answers that I can provide to you, but if there is anything I CAN offer I will. Most of what I currently have to say on this topic is outlined here.
My first question to you – Have you spoken to a qualified, licensed mental health professional about your traits and the other aspects of what you perceive to be this thing called narcissistic personality disorder? If not, there is an article on my blog that talks about the therapist I have been using… He works with patients locally and remotely – and may be a good person to reach out to.
Next question – If you already have one – is he or she in agreement with your assertion, and are you certain that you are working to address the correct root of your own personal delusion? Knowing the root with absolute certainty is, in my opinion, the VERY FIRST TRUE STEP FORWARD.
If you have to ask whether or not you have NPD, my initial response it that you probably don’t. But only a trained professional can help you discover/validate the nature and depth of your own root. This is not something that I am at all qualified to comment on.
I think ‘so and so’ has NPD. Please help me help them.
I am sorry, but there is NOTHING that you can do for them!!! THEY must feel the need to heal in THIER very bones. It’s not something you can take on for them – or shake them out of, NOW MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MIGHT WANT TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN!!!
NO ONE BUT YOU CAN SEE YOUR OWN INNER TRUTH! Right?
From my point of view, if you do not SEE the truth of the above statement, then you are just as asleep and trapped in the very same delusion as they are. You’re probably just carrying a different but equally inaccurate and ill-informed label around with you.
I wish I could shake you by the shoulders – and them to, and yell ‘open your eyes fool’. But it doesn’t work this way.
It is the same for them and their delusion. You CANNOT grab them by the shoulders and just demand that they get a clue or wake up to the world. They will remain blind until they are ready to awaken to themselves – and sadly, only a handful will ever really find their way out of this particular density of darkness.
If, you truly KNOW (NOT HOPE) that your pwNPD is REALLY ready to heal. You can point them to my post on ‘what it feels like to live this way’ and ask them if they can see themselves there – maybe using this is a way to open things up, but I would advise treading this ground VERY carefully! Let them step through my story and my posts and then discuss the matter… But again… BE VERY CAREFUL!!!
There is a VERY GOOD CHANCE that you will do more harm to yourself than good for them if you choose to take this route. It is far far better for you to tell them that you love them, and then SHOW them that you love yourself even more BY LEAVING!
THIS IS NOT ABOUT THEM, IT IS ABOUT YOU!!! [shake, shake, shake!]
YOU are worthy and deserving of SO MUCH MORE! Leave behind the blind man who has stabbed himself in both eyes with madness. Go find your own bliss!!! Do not squander your limited time and limitless possibilities by wasting them on one who is incapable of receiving the INCREDIBLE gift that is YOU, let alone expressing gratitude for it!
GO – Find Your Own BLISS!!!
This is not the answer that you wanted to hear – I know. But it is the only answer that rings true – and you already know it yourself!
Hopefully that helped – but probably not… Good luck to you in your own healing journey.