The True Journey of the Healing Narcissist

This journey over the past three weeks (and the past month or so in general) has been…  beyond anything I could have imagined.  I am SO GLAD to have been blogging this entire process…

I now have a beautiful story of a man who woke up from a nightmare, faced his demons, found his true self, and then reached for the divine.

It is not the story I expected.  

A month ago I was a shambles – an emotional bag of misery.  Everything was falling apart.  But then I took action!

I fully revealed myself to three key people in my life.  I healed the emotional wound that had created my initial break. I had queried those around me for instruction and strength.  I received guidance from a beautiful soul of a therapist.  I focused on mindful awareness and moment by moment presence. I cut off access to all of my old hiding places.  I removed all connections with people and ideas that could hinder or thwart my healing.  I used radical self-honesty to query every aspect of who I am.  I faced every emotion – every pain – every ounce of misery that flooded through me. I pushed and I pushed.

At some point I began to blossom into something far more spectacular than my original goal of a ‘more authentic self’.

If you watch the journey closely, it’s really interesting to see how each experience added something new – and they just kept building up, one on top of another.

Eventually the popcorn popper became a lightning storm.

Note: Bolded items were key moments for me. 

(Optional read) 1 Oct 2014: Initial appearance as ‘livinginmyhead’ on Psych forums.

Blog Post 1: And So It Begins (3 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 2: About Me (3 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 3: My Particular Brand of Damage (6 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 4: A Man of Many Masks (6 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 5: Healing the Oldest Wound (7 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 6: Coming Clean: The Hardest Moments of My Life (9 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 7: Looking Forward (9 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 8: An Overwhelming Sense of Emergence (10 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 9: The Narcissistic Cloud vs. Truth and Love (12 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 10: Trying to Grow Up (12 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 11: Believing My Own Bullshit (12 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 12: Blue Moods, Dark Days, and The Final Solution (13 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 13: Shifting From an External to Internal Experience (13 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 14: What It Feels Like to Live This Way (13 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 15: The Healing Path That I Have Chosen (Part I) (13 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 16: The Healing Path That I Have Chosen (Part II) (13 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 17: The Healing Path That I Have Chosen (Part III) (13 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 18: Removed from list – this post was irrelevant.

Blog Post 19: My Truth is Love (15 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 20: This is the Story of My Awakening to the World (16 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 21: The All Consuming and Ever Present Nature of Doubt (18 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 22: Next Steps (15 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 23: This Whole Thing is a Joke Right? (16 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 24: Being Emancipated From My Rage (16 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 25: Staying Grounded in Mindfulness and Love (17 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 26: My Doubt Nearly Claimed Me (18 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 27: I have a POTENTIAL Roadmap for Narcissism to Nirvana (19 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 28: Interesting Observations Regarding Time and Objects (19 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 29: Shedding My Doubting Mind (19 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 30: My Big Fat Head and My Big Fat Mouth (20 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 31: Beware the Trap of Hubris and Take a Break (20 Oct 2014)

Blog Post 32: A Short Update as the Path Unfolds (23 Oct 2014)

Blog Series on My Experience of Enlightenment (2 Nov 2014)

(Optional read) Additional commentary in the ‘My Ongoing Journal Updates’

The journey continues at:

3 thoughts on “The True Journey of the Healing Narcissist

  1. Wow. Just…wow. I’m in tears reading this. You see, I just became self aware of being a covert/fragile N only two weeks ago (I already have a BPD dx). The phase leading up to and the actual moment of awareness (which hit me all at once like a tidal wave) was deeply unsettling and VERY surreal but was followed by a realization that this was the most important discovery I ever made in my life.

    I’ve been filled with hope for the future, and sometimes it borders on something close to euphoria. I know I have to be careful, but I’m going to be reading everything on this blog because i can see how much of this applies to the healing journey i’ve just started .

    I came to this point of awareness through blogging (my primary blog is an ACON blog that connects to this account, but I realized I had to be very careful about journaling about my experience of narcissism and healing on a blog where many people are N-haters even though most people have been very understanding since my “coming out”–I get a lot of, “oh, you can’t be a narc, because (fill in the blank).”

    But I am one and knew I’d have to start a second blog (Down the Rabbit Hole: ) in which I can document this new stretch of my journey and so far it’s been pretty amazing. I’m both nervous and excited!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s been a while since you commented – and I’m just catching up. I don’t log in here very often anymore. This site is the legacy of ghost that is no more. I’d love to hear how your journey has progressed so far though. When our cup is made empty, we have the opportunity to discover who and what we truly are… How far have you gone?

      Over the course of the past few months I’ve been transitioning more and more into the role a spiritual teacher, teaching the path of self-realization that leads one into and beyond enlightenment. This is the only real way out of all mind-made maladies, including narcissism. You can use my primary site at to examine all of my writings, videos, podcasts, etc. perhaps you’ll find something useful…

      Best of luck and take care.

      Liked by 1 person

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