The Healing Path That I Have Chosen (Part IV)


This is part 4 in a series.  Please refer to part 1 herepart 2 here, and part 3 here for additional details.

Dawning Realization Period (mid-Sep 2014 – 27 Sep 2014)

It’s inaccurate to say that this process ‘began’ in mid-sep – this is just when I started to become conscious of it.  All my life I wanted an answer…

Narcissistic Personality Inventory

I cannot honestly say how I ended up on this site, but this is where my journey began.  http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

Read Articles and Watch Videos 

There was a lot of stuff spinning in my head after the NPI.  The link I followed from my score card page was incredibly valuable.  I think I saw so much of myself initially that something clicked in the back of my mind.  So I kept digging.

Here are some of the things I was looking at in the VERY beginning:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/services/neurological_institute/center-for-behavorial-health/disease-conditions/hic-narcissistic-personality-disorder

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder

Then I came across this one and found it really interesting and so consistent with my romantic relationships: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/08/the-dance-between-codependents-narcissists/

This led me to watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At9fRWqoyu4

And then I started watching all of his stuff on narcs: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8OgfVyM8u5xhoHTJPa9sOQ

By that point I think I was sold.

Then I started digging into the DSM V vs. DSM IV variances/changes and read about the whole ‘dumping the PD section’.  That didn’t matter…

I was still a bit unsure – I thought that maybe I was also Avoidant PD and had BPD traits as well.  So I went through all of the PDs and looked closely at each one in terms of my WHOLE person experience.  After that I was certain!

ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE BECAME CRYSTAL CLEAR TO ME for the very first time!!!  EVERYTHING that I’d struggled with since as early as I can remember could be traced back to this thing called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

UNDERSTANDING and ACCEPTING it hadn’t quite sunk in yet though…

Read part V.


I have halted writing this series.  This was the last post that I made before my spontaneous spiritual awakening occurred.  Anything written after this point (after 13 Oct 2014 at around 10PM PST) reflects a VERY different view of the world. 

If you have followed my story to this point, please note that I am currently applying my entire process of dissection, analysis, and theorization to the understanding of how my spiritual awakening may have occurred. 

For me this is a TREMENDOUSLY fascinating experience that MUST be explored, documented, and shared.  If it can touch just one person – and help them awaken from the grand delusion of the world, OH MY GOD!  THE JOY!!!  This is a gift of TRUE LOVE!!! 

This is the post that I am currently capturing my theory in: https://thehealingnarcissist.com/2014/10/19/i-have-a-potential-roadmap-for-narcissism-to-nirvana/


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